Friday, October 17, 2008

someplace else--thought du jour

Remember that quote- sometimes all she could think is it would happen someplace else? Hmmm, that's on my mind. I've been in AZ for a year + now and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm restless. Things aren't happening fast enough for me and though patience can be a strong point for me, right now it's not.
I make mental lists about reasons to stay vs. reasons to leave. A year ago I saw myself not staying for more than a few months. That's changed mainly because I don't know where to go. Return to Seattle, I still remember why I left. San Diego --too pricey. So stay put? For what? The main reasons I've stayed this long are for my parents (I love being near them) and 3 little kids where the adoration is mutual. That's it.
It's a risky time to make another move. It's a silly time too since I just secured my licenses here. But, the limbo-ness that I've been living in for the last year is just so fucking old and I'm growing less tolerant of it daily. Yet, on the flipside- oddly enough, I've never been more zen about things than I am right now. How does that happen? Maybe I need to re-read Footprints in the Sand, the poem, again. I always liked that one.
More later-

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