BOO!

Today is the world's greatest holiday. Halloween. I've never had a bad halloween, I've always had the most fun! Wishing you unexplained noises, things that move by themselves, scary sounds and a night full of magic and spookiness. Remember- anything can happen on halloween, your dog can turn into a cat also, have you seen the ghost of John, long white bones and the rest are gone!?

Happy Halloween!

Sparky- yes, Happy Anniversary, friend!

I know WHAT the caged bird sings....

That she is missing her friends...love all y'all- thanks for the great phone chats and for checking in. Stace, Sar, Su, Gre, Ri, Bla, Ray, Ang....(names have been changed to protect the innocent). You are the best friends a girl could have! You girls are my sisters (since I don't have any).
Can't wait to see you soon. Cheers to you all, my lovelies!

rearviewmirror

Guess what?! I bought a new car! It's so exciting. Well: it's not new, but new to me. It's a 2003 Fresco Green VW Passat. It has all the perks and sweetness that a newer car has. I was driving around a reliable but old car I inherited from grandma. So, it was time for updating. Props to my dad, Cra, who assisted in the fine print work with buying a new car. Thanks Cra! I'll try to upload a photo soon.

Oh no...

Ed & Caleb from Kings of leon

It's not a lie that I was sad when I heard that Ed Vedder made a "surprise" appearance at the Kings of Leon show in Seattle this past week. I know he is a big fan of theirs and wasn't surprised to hear that he did that. He performed on the last song they played for the set. How cool! I must admit that I've been to a few special shows like that where unannounced, all of sudden there is this little guy named Ed on stage yet larger than life in so many ways performing with the unknown band I was watching. It's cool when it happens, it's even cooler to leave the show and relive the moments when you realize it's him. I'm jealous of the people that were at that show...jealous cuz they got to see Kings in all their glory and the added spice or cherry on top of that was Ed's presence and performance. I miss good concert moments like that.

Manhattan

So I was driving to work this morning listening to, of course, Kings of Leon (I can't turn this album off- I am listening to it non-stop..yes, it's that good). Track #5 is called Manhattan. It's about the city...it's a fantastic song, quickly becoming my favorite. Anyhoo- I got sentimental, cuz it's that time that I told you about. I was feeling the need to reflect on my fun NYC trip I took a year ago. The song just cemented the reflections for me. Great song, great memories of a super fun and fantastic trip which you'll be hearing about soon again. Speaking of Manhattan I was watching my favorite show, Sex and the City last night. Back to back episodes- two of my favorites actually. Some of the plot situations and things that were said especially in these two episodes really ring true. Why is that women turn confusion to confuscious? Meaning if something is confusing or frustrating we get philosophical and say it all happens for a reason. This is something I don't doubt at all, but is there a need in us to always find the answers or the reasons behind something to explain it all and make it better? I believe everything does happen for a reason, it's all part of the bigger picture that we can only see in hindsight. It's a great outlook!
And speaking of Sex and the City--I'd like to thank Ricker and Jimmy for making my trip to NYC just that. I met Jimmy about 5 days into my trip...prior to that and after he left I was with Ricker. I had too much fun with both of my guys, my cousin referred to me as Carrie Bradshaw half way through my trip due to my late nights out with these boys...that to me, was a compliment!
More on my reflections of a journey to self discovery (my trip to NYC) that was already part of a journey to self discovery(my big move 2 weeks prior)....later!

someplace else--thought du jour

Remember that quote- sometimes all she could think is it would happen someplace else? Hmmm, that's on my mind. I've been in AZ for a year + now and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm restless. Things aren't happening fast enough for me and though patience can be a strong point for me, right now it's not.
I make mental lists about reasons to stay vs. reasons to leave. A year ago I saw myself not staying for more than a few months. That's changed mainly because I don't know where to go. Return to Seattle, I still remember why I left. San Diego --too pricey. So stay put? For what? The main reasons I've stayed this long are for my parents (I love being near them) and 3 little kids where the adoration is mutual. That's it.
It's a risky time to make another move. It's a silly time too since I just secured my licenses here. But, the limbo-ness that I've been living in for the last year is just so fucking old and I'm growing less tolerant of it daily. Yet, on the flipside- oddly enough, I've never been more zen about things than I am right now. How does that happen? Maybe I need to re-read Footprints in the Sand, the poem, again. I always liked that one.
More later-

Yummy

thank God for good music. I've said it before, I'll say it again, my music- good music gets me by and through everything! You all know the staples for me- PJ et al, but I've had Kings of Leon's new cd in heavy rotation. If you don't own it, it's a must. Please go out and get yourself a copy and you too can enjoy them for listening pleasure.

Say hello as well to Caleb. My new crush (lead singer of Kings of Leon). WOW!

the mid-west

Chicago at night...so pretty, oh so pretty

The midwest, a nice place to visit but, I'd never ever live there (again)! I am back from Chicago. Look for more postings and images to follow. It was a nice trip though I am now sniffling my way through a crappy headcold. I spent QT with the fam, QT dealing with family dynamics as well. All families have such unique dynamics, mine is no different. Happy happy, joy joy.

I also got to spend some QT with best friends of my mom's whom I refer to as my aunts, their kids are like my cousins. I love them all! We had a great time over the weekend then more fun my last few days there. Always nice to re-connect with the roots and gain different & new perspectives.

More later-

Well endowed vs. knowing what to do with it

I attended a "networking" breakfast this morning. I always find it interesting to meet other people and hear about the work they do, the people they serve and their approach to it all. My own form of voyeurism I guess. I am troubled by the number of people who are very credentialed in their area of practice: counseling, nursing, marriage/family, social work but yet have no clue about how to help the broken people they are serving. I listen to these people discuss their own history of trauma or addiction and find it inspiring that they rose above it but yet troubled that they are using only certain approaches to helping. Their credentials are well earned and make them look big....but their techniques are scary. I'm not a high and mighty SWer. I am humbled daily by my work (or former work)- being able to serve. But I worry about those well-endowed with creds that make them feel special vs. knowing what to do when the crisis/issue is bigger than their creds. Food for thought.

On another note- I decided to continue to talk to my young Prophet aka whippersnapper. I wasn't going to, but he kept texting and calling wondering where I was, how I was and when we could talk. So, I called. I am fine that I did. And oh no, he wants to see me again. He wants to meet up somewhere. That won't be happening soon (if at all)....but ya know, when he calls me "sugar" or "gorgeous" in that damn Texan drawl, I start thinking well, maybe we could meet somewhere. Yikes. Anyhoo- he's still cute and he's still fun and extremely entertaining to talk to on the phone!
I leave for Chicago tomorrow. Looking forward to that. I will be seeing my former neighbor and good friend D. We have much to catch up and will lament over the state of the US.
More updates later!
And hey- Sparky, darling, you presence is still felt in my heart and head. Thanks for sparking that fire so long ago. Love, me

Fighting back with my mind

Thoughts for today- scattered but content. I need a new job, I want a new job. I like the job I have currently- don't get me wrong- but I'm not being used properly and I want to be. The market is shitty here in AZ, jobs are not plentiful but qualified SWers are. So, I'm literally a big fish in a big pond with other big fishes. Competition. I have this favorite quote that goes "sometimes all she could think is it would happen someplace else". Well said. Except I spent 10 years doing that. Now I think maybe it happens in NYC. But talk about a big pond!

I have another quote that I like- it's from my good friend Phil. He once said to me "you can't have roots and wings at the same time". So true. And for me I am constantly trying to figure out what I want more. To settle down, find that secure job and hopefully marry, have a family and live resolved that way? Or stay the course, have no real committments and travel til I've seen it all? Roots and Wings. Roots or Wings? It's confusing, it's fun to be confused by these things- I mean they aren't bad and I love having options. But approaching the age that I am (in about 2.5 months) I feel that something needs to give. Living in limbo ain't fun, living with the status quo is unacceptable. Such is life after making a big transition.

I do have to say a big thanks to my P's. Who are awesome and supportive. I don't really talk to anyone else here except for my mom and dad. They are always quick to listen and respond...other than them, thanks to my cool friends up North. Your support continues to bless me and your friendships inspire me. You are the sisters I've never had and it's true when they say friends become your family. Thanks! Love you!

my young whippersnapper

Yes, darling sister of mine (wife of my brother), I will 'blog' about this.
My trip to KC started out completely uneventful. As I was reading the latest edition of my favorite rag mag a handsome gent caught my eye with his smile. He has a nice one. He kept staring at me from across the aisle, always greeting me with a smile or a wink. Hmmm, I thought. What's he all about?
Upon arrival in that boring city, as we ventured off the plane he made small talk with me and proceeded to introduce himself to moi with the heartiest of handshakes explaining that he is in town for a training (like me) and we realized our respective hotels were within 2 blocks of each other. His Texas drawl and joyful smile made me say yes to his invite for cocktails out that night or the next or perhaps even dinner. I was fine for either. Game on.

I declined the first night, but the 2nd night we decided to meet at a pub for drinks and then move on for dinner to a restaurant. He once lived in boring KC (which wasn't so boring at this point). Cocktails were yummy, dinner was wonderful mainly due to the fact that he has a large expense account. The rest of the night was ...fantastic. He's 30 which is exactly what my darling sister said I should go for, the younger man. Now, I'm not interested in going for anyone right now. But I'm all about having fun and that's exactly what he is & what we had. It helps also, to finish off two old fashioneds and a bottle of riesling between us plus a few late late night caps. KC turned out to be not so boring after all with a little thanks to my new, very cute friend!